Hello, I’m back! So how’s everyone doing? As I’ve promised in the last issue, this time we’re going to lay our hands on “How to tackle our exasperating, inner insecurity with trust”. As we’ve discussed before, the epic social media site Facebook hasn’t only taken over our lives, but the trust in our partners too. It is affecting our life in ways that deem silly, but its profound effect is undeniable.
So what is insecurity? The web defines it as:
1. instability, not at peace
2. a state of being uneasy, anxious, uncertain, fearful
3. lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt
In lay man terms however, I see it as:
1. constantly glancing at the direction your partner is looking at
2. eavesdropping when your partner is on the phone
3. always thinking, “I’m not good enough for him/her"
and the list goes on...
Being insecure can be one of the worst feelings in the world; mind goes into rampage, emotion goes haywire, heartbeat goes crazy at the very absurd thought... Aren’t we all sick of all these petty little acts sometimes? Exhausted by it maybe? Well, it’s time to change.
One of the most important thing you have to remember is, love yourself before you can love anyone else.
There is many ways to tackle your insecurities, but let’s start small,
Stop comparing –
If you are never happy with how you look and constantly aspire to look like someone else, drop the thought. If I were to live in a world where everyone looks equally gorgeous, I might just be the saddest person on earth. I don’t want to ever give up my flat, short, stubby nose- that’s what makes me, me! With my asset, or flaw as you might see it, I am unique and no one can be me. If your partner chose you over others, you have to have faith in him/her and let love do its job. If he/she were to fall for someone else, it’s completely their loss, not yours.
You don’t own your partner –
In case you didn’t realize, many of the hatred, anger, jealousy, suffocation, depression arises from the fact that you think you ‘own’ your partner. Oh come on, by getting into a relationship with a person doesn’t mean that you have to conquer each other and make life a bitch. You can love him/her but you can’t control what he/she wants to do. By having a hold on ever single aspect of your partner’s life, you are merely getting yourself into a very mundane and lifeless relationship. By allowing more room between two person, you’re giving it more space to grow.
Focus more on yourself –
By that I mean… Get a life, seriously. Why spend time getting mushy and sad over Facebook when you can utilize the amount of time on useful things like learning a new language, pampering yourself with spa, hanging out with family, lose weight, indulge in new hobby etc.. Life’s priority should always be ourselves, not our partner. Think of it, by spending time in making yourself better, won’t your partner be more impressed with you?
If you like what i’m sharing, stay tuned for next week’s issue on how to bring sparks to your now mundane relationship.
Sharmayne Cheng is a writer for a local magazine, specializing in relationship issues.
-Not just another Aunt Agony,
See ya till then!
-logged off-
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